First
of all I'd like to address my absence on this site. I promised a
weekly post, yet my last post was 32 days ago. That's not being late,
that's a hiatus. So, how did this situation come to be? Well, funnily
enough I actually did post an article about this subject the day it
was supposed to be posted, but I pulled it after I decided I wasn't
at all happy with the tone of it. I deleted most of the text and
started over. This time I would miss the Monday-deadline I set for
myself over and over, spiraling down a vicious circle (yes, I do
realize that's technically impossible, I'm trying to express myself
here). But hey, I'm here now, so let's talk about Jeremy.
Jeremy Wade Delle 1975-1991 |
The backstory.
The
song 'Jeremy' by Pearl Jam is about a boy who has to deal with a
great deal of anxiety until he decides that it's not worth it and
shoots himself in front of his classmates. It's an account of real
life teenager Jeremy Wade Delle, who has shot himself in a Richardson
High School at about 9:45 AM on the 8th of January, 1991.
Jeremy,
fifteen or sixteen years old, was a shy boy, and was picked on
because of it. He was very non-social and was described as 'real
quiet' and a 'loner'. He did have one friend at school though: the
sixteen year old Lisa Moore. They exchanged notes discussing general
topics. Jeremy's later notes expressed curiosity after Lisa's then
boyfriend and started talking about trouble he's been having with a
teacher, signing all of his notes with 'Write back'. One January
Monday however, he signed his note 'Later days'. The following
Tuesday Jeremy was late, missing the first class. When he showed up
in English class, the teacher told him to go get an admittance slip
from the school office. He walked out and got a gun that he planted
in advance, presumably in his locker. Upon his return, he walked
directly to the front of the classroom and said “Miss, I got what I
really went for” and pulled out the .357-caliber Magnum, placed it
in his mouth and shot, without any hesitation. Just outside was
sixteen year old Brian Jackson, trying to open his locker. He didn't
think much of the bang. Could be a book slammed against a table,
maybe the class was performing a play or something. But then a girl
came running out of the classroom, screaming and crying, rapidly
informing the small school that something had just gone horribly
wrong. Frightened but curious Brian stepped inside where he saw
Jeremy's body lying in his blood on the floor and the teacher
standing against the wall, crying and shaking. The teacher resigned after the incident, a hole in the wall from the bullet is still
visible today, being kept like that in Jeremy's honour.
Pearl Jam enters
the story.
Pearl
Jam was at the time still busy making their demo for what would
eventually become 'Ten', but not now, as they where on tour (I'm
having a hard time figuring out which one exactly. For example, the
FiveHorizons Concert Chronology doesn't mention a concert around that
time in that area. Nor does TwoFeetThick. The closest I could find is
the 10/11/91 concert at the Vatican in Houston Texas (via
FiveHorizons), but that's much too late since Pearl Jam already began
recording Jeremy in March. Their famous tour opening for Alice in
Chains seems to fill the right timesloth, but they didn't go anywhere
near Texas). When in the area (during whatever tour), Eddie Vedder
came across a copy of 'The Dallas Morning News' in which there was an
article about Jeremy. In a 2009 interview with Seattle Sound
Magazine, Vedder said that he felt "the need to take that small
article and make something of it—to give that action, to give it
reaction, to give it more importance."
Jeremy and you.
I
think most people know a Jeremy. Do not approach him with clichés
about how wonderful life is, he has heard them all and he is not
impressed. When Marilyn Manson was asked what he would say to Klebold
and Harris of the Columbine murders, he replied: “I wouldn't say a
single word to them, I would listen to what they have to say. And
that's what no one did.” I think Manson is right on the money here,
most Jeremies out there aren't looking for a psychiatrist, just being
there listening will do. The worst thing you can do is trying to push
whatever idea you've got to solve this, the best thing you can do is
being there. Just listening. Stephen Fry has said: “If you know
someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why.
Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation;
depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the
blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going
through. Be there for them when they come through the other side.
It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is
one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”
Like the weather, depression isn't something one could just walk off
and forget about, it just there, whether you like it or not. There
isn't a single solution because there isn't a single cause. And
sometimes there's the need to curl up and take shelter for a while,
that's okay. Invite your Jeremy to parties and be persuasive about
it, but never force him to go anywhere. Sometimes he doesn't want to
be around people and that should be respected too.
We unleashed a
lion.
Eddie
Vedder actually knew a Jeremy too, a kid named Brian committed a
school shooting in his Junior High School, which is why he decided to
sing the song in the perspective of one of Jeremy's classmates. He
knew exactly what feelings come from knowing someone in your school
did something like this, since he actually has first hand experience.
In December '91 Vedder told KLOL FM: “I actually knew somebody in
junior high school, in San Diego, California, that did the same
thing, just about, didn't take his life but ended up shooting up an
oceanography room. I remember being in the halls and hearing it and I
had actually had altercations with this kid in the past. I was kind
of a rebellious fifth-grader and I think we got in fights and stuff.
So it's a bit about this kid named Jeremy and it's also a bit about a
kid named Brian that I knew.”
This
is it for now, but I will come back to revise this article since I'm
still not happy with it. I will focus on something else for
now, maybe clarity comes later, when I've gotten the change to clear
my mind.
Sources.
The
actual newspaper article as read on fivehorizons.com.
Marilyn
Manson quote: Bowling for Columbine.
Stephen
Fry quote: Secret Life of the Manic Depressive.
Eddie
Vedder Quote about shooting at his school: KLOL FM
Eddie
Vedder Quote 'Action, reaction, importance': Seattle Sound Magazine,
March 2009.
PearlJam.com
And,
of course, Wikipedia.
I've
decided to drop the weekly schedule altogether and just post whenever
I feel like it instead. So be sure to bookmark or subscribe!
Hakuna
Matata!
-The
Human Crayon
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